Is this paragraph clear to you? (my introduction part of my essay)?

“Yes! Now I just received my B.A Degree in Civil Engineering from University of Greenland, I can come up with projects that satisfied people needs for making their life easier.” That was my intention as I got hired to become a city planner for the city of Van Nuys. I do not know anything about the city of Van Nuys but I figured it would be nice of me to explore around town. Hopefully I would be able to meet a person who can speak either Eskimo-Aleut Language or Maori. While on my city tour, I have begun to record several observations upon pros and cons. Afterward, I went to the city hall and requested for 2000’s census data. I received the data and went home to compare what I saw earlier that day and the data. So far, I have seen some nonsense connection with the city, particularly with the zip-code of 91401. It a complete mess by far and need to get it done in a timely manner. According to the data, there is a map that constitutes a layer and they are cultural, economic, social and demographic. These four layers indicated a problematic because it was divided into two segment that is needed to be fixed into one whole piece in order to have an easy accessibility for various purposes. And that is my main focus which I as a city planner to invest ton of money to renovate the community of 91401 zip code.



Any suggestions/comments to change?



Thank a bunch! :PIs this paragraph clear to you? (my introduction part of my essay)?
I am not sure what this essay is for - so while I can make grammatical and spelling suggestions, I cannot be certain of other types of comments. For instance, starting with "Yes!" may or may not be ill advised.



Anyway, strictly from a grammatical and spelling view point:



“Yes! Now that I have just received my B.A. Degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Greenland, I can come up with projects that satisfy people needs to make their lives easier.” That was my intention when I was hired to become a city planner for the city of Van Nuys. I did not know anything about the city of Van Nuys, so I decided I should explore the town. I was hopeful that I would meet a person who could speak either the Eskimo-Aleut Language or Maori. While on my city tour, I began to record several observations of good and bad elements in the city planning. Afterward, I went to the city hall and requested the census data from the year 2000. After receiving the data, I went home to compare it with what I had seen earlier that day. So far, I have noted several items that need attention, and in particular, issues with the zip code of 91401. It is a complete mess by far and remedies need to be completed in a timely manner. (NOTE - I have no idea what you are trying to say in this next section!) According to the data, there is a map that constitutes a layer and they are cultural, economic, social and demographic. These four layers indicated a problematic because it was divided into two segment that is needed to be fixed into one whole piece in order to have an easy accessibility for various purposes. And that is my main focus which I as a city planner to invest ton of money to renovate the community of 91401 zip code.